This is part of my chat with an American friend that ended up worthy enough to be published here. Obviously, these are our personal views and do not signify any truth... yet, It's interesting to read:
[…]
Me: when i think about the concept of "love", i feel most people either dont experience it at all, or just have a shadowy experience of it
Me: most people do not want to spend time and energy for falling in love
Me: they want something quick, ALREADY compatible
Friend: yes...few are willing to work at it
Me: just look at all these match-making websites
Me: even love has reduced to quantity here, instead of quality
Me: everything should be FAST in the western world
Friend: people are always searching for something.. might even be that what they are searching for does not exist
Me: well
Me: you know whats wrong with those ppl?
Me: they're selfish
Friend: tell me
Me: deeply selfish
Me: they want the world to offer them something they want
Me: but they dont want to change themselves in ways to suit what they can find
Friend: instant gratification
Me: thats the core problem of westerners and also modern easterners
Me: yes
Me: they just look for shorter, faster things
Me: but the easy way is almost always NOT the right way
Friend: disposable society.. even people are disposable
Me: exactly
Me: and these people think they are really smart
Me: they are not, in fact
Me: because they are missing the great opportunity of falling in love
Me: it's hard, but it's the most amazing thing in the world
Me: when you start to modify your ways for the pleasure of someone you love
Me: it's a voluntary effort that shows you are mature enough as a human-being to actually be in love
Friend: they don't all want love.. but they all seem to want attention
Me: that's when you deserve the right partner
Me: that's very true
Me: attention-seekers
Me: rather than love-seekers
Me: we have a lot of attention-seekers nowadays, and not enough love-seekers
Friend: it's always been that way i'm sure
Me: love-seekers are left behind in history books or in the graves of ancient time
Me: right...but NEVER in the history of mankind, it has turned into a cultural phenomenon that is prevailing as it is now
Me: love was not this commercial ever
Me: now you look everywhere...it's suffocating everybody to know what man New York will finally choose
Me: or, in the height of their open-mindedness to accept bisexuality... what man or woman Tila Tequila will eventually end up with
Me: that's all TV shows can offer about love
Friend: our society and economic systems are based on competition
Me: everything in the western world is based on competition
Me: worse than survival of the fittest laws
Me: you know what?
Friend: what?
Me: im going to resort to some far spot someday, with my books and my old love letters
Me: far from the madding crowd
Friend: might be lonely there
Me: of course not
Me: God is there
Me: He's not here for sure, since everybody is too busy to notice Him lol
Friend: good luck with that
Me: thanks
Me: thats really my dream
Friend: i like people around me
Me: i need to get out of this comfort zone
Me: of potato chips and computers and busy lifestyle
Friend: you don't have to join the crowd to live amongst it
Me: i like ppl too, but doesnt mean im ready to suffocate myself by being extra-social
Friend: that's what i do..i exist in society...but i don't thrust myself deep into it
Me: it's just... something is really missing in American lifestyle and you cannot understand it, since you're born here, have been living here, and most probably after a nice long life with die here
Me: it's not just that
Me: this is the society that keeps you from thinking otherwise
Me: and you have no choice, because you have a family, a job, etc
Me: you cannot just leave things behind
Me: and that i understand..can be so hard
Friend: i don't want to be in a position where i can just leave everything behind and go off and do nothing.. that isn't fulfilling to me
Me: exactly...you think im talking about "go off and do nothing"
Me: that's exactly why you can't get my point, because as an American you're immersed in this culture
Me: nothing wrong with that, though…most probably, I am immersed in my own culture too!
Me: but just means this communication barrier between us cannot be easily removed..by us I mean between typically-eastern mentality and typically-western mentality
Me: most probably there are concepts I WOULD not understand, either
Me: because im not immersed in the American culture yet
Me: but by leaving things behind, i didnt mean to go off and do nothing
Me: i meant to start facing yourself and understanding yourself WITHOUT the help of all those mirrors around that you call people or friends or family
Friend: that's the thing..you see our culture as a prison where we can't leave.. that's far from it, we are free to leave at any time.. what did you have to go through to leave your country?
Me: i know what westerners are afraid of above all...it's not terrorists, it not nuclear bombs, it's not cancer or AIDS..it's something else
Friend: what?
Me: it's being alone by themselves to face themselves
Me: hence they create all this "busy-ness" which they call "business" just NOT to be alone by themselves, because they have no idea how to handle themselves
Me: it can be scary, to focus on yourself WITHOUT any distraction at hand
Friend: i'm talking about barriers..what barriers did you have to come here?
Me: I am the person who choose to fall in love, forgot it?
Me: I am not one of these comfort-seekers who puts an ad on a match-making site and wait for some magical partner to stop by and knock on their door
Friend: you also chose to fall in love with a westerner
Me: yes
Me: which is even harder
Me: which meant i had to totally consider changing my ways..my familiar ways
Me: which i did
Me: since i know how to fall in love
Friend: why didn't you make him change his ways instead?
Me: he did too
Me: we both did
Me: he knows how to fall in love, too
Me: we both changed our ways to please eachother
Me: as much as we could
Me: and we are STILL doing this… most probably we will be doing this forever lol which is good
Me: I am sure I would have been a totally different person if I had not fallen in love with John… most probably I would have been a bit more selfish, less flexible, more austere, less emotional… with him, I'm sure if he had not fallen in love with me, he could have ended up a bit more selfish too, less of a dreamer, more confused, and of course, less smiling :)
[…]
[…]
Me: when i think about the concept of "love", i feel most people either dont experience it at all, or just have a shadowy experience of it
Me: most people do not want to spend time and energy for falling in love
Me: they want something quick, ALREADY compatible
Friend: yes...few are willing to work at it
Me: just look at all these match-making websites
Me: even love has reduced to quantity here, instead of quality
Me: everything should be FAST in the western world
Friend: people are always searching for something.. might even be that what they are searching for does not exist
Me: well
Me: you know whats wrong with those ppl?
Me: they're selfish
Friend: tell me
Me: deeply selfish
Me: they want the world to offer them something they want
Me: but they dont want to change themselves in ways to suit what they can find
Friend: instant gratification
Me: thats the core problem of westerners and also modern easterners
Me: yes
Me: they just look for shorter, faster things
Me: but the easy way is almost always NOT the right way
Friend: disposable society.. even people are disposable
Me: exactly
Me: and these people think they are really smart
Me: they are not, in fact
Me: because they are missing the great opportunity of falling in love
Me: it's hard, but it's the most amazing thing in the world
Me: when you start to modify your ways for the pleasure of someone you love
Me: it's a voluntary effort that shows you are mature enough as a human-being to actually be in love
Friend: they don't all want love.. but they all seem to want attention
Me: that's when you deserve the right partner
Me: that's very true
Me: attention-seekers
Me: rather than love-seekers
Me: we have a lot of attention-seekers nowadays, and not enough love-seekers
Friend: it's always been that way i'm sure
Me: love-seekers are left behind in history books or in the graves of ancient time
Me: right...but NEVER in the history of mankind, it has turned into a cultural phenomenon that is prevailing as it is now
Me: love was not this commercial ever
Me: now you look everywhere...it's suffocating everybody to know what man New York will finally choose
Me: or, in the height of their open-mindedness to accept bisexuality... what man or woman Tila Tequila will eventually end up with
Me: that's all TV shows can offer about love
Friend: our society and economic systems are based on competition
Me: everything in the western world is based on competition
Me: worse than survival of the fittest laws
Me: you know what?
Friend: what?
Me: im going to resort to some far spot someday, with my books and my old love letters
Me: far from the madding crowd
Friend: might be lonely there
Me: of course not
Me: God is there
Me: He's not here for sure, since everybody is too busy to notice Him lol
Friend: good luck with that
Me: thanks
Me: thats really my dream
Friend: i like people around me
Me: i need to get out of this comfort zone
Me: of potato chips and computers and busy lifestyle
Friend: you don't have to join the crowd to live amongst it
Me: i like ppl too, but doesnt mean im ready to suffocate myself by being extra-social
Friend: that's what i do..i exist in society...but i don't thrust myself deep into it
Me: it's just... something is really missing in American lifestyle and you cannot understand it, since you're born here, have been living here, and most probably after a nice long life with die here
Me: it's not just that
Me: this is the society that keeps you from thinking otherwise
Me: and you have no choice, because you have a family, a job, etc
Me: you cannot just leave things behind
Me: and that i understand..can be so hard
Friend: i don't want to be in a position where i can just leave everything behind and go off and do nothing.. that isn't fulfilling to me
Me: exactly...you think im talking about "go off and do nothing"
Me: that's exactly why you can't get my point, because as an American you're immersed in this culture
Me: nothing wrong with that, though…most probably, I am immersed in my own culture too!
Me: but just means this communication barrier between us cannot be easily removed..by us I mean between typically-eastern mentality and typically-western mentality
Me: most probably there are concepts I WOULD not understand, either
Me: because im not immersed in the American culture yet
Me: but by leaving things behind, i didnt mean to go off and do nothing
Me: i meant to start facing yourself and understanding yourself WITHOUT the help of all those mirrors around that you call people or friends or family
Friend: that's the thing..you see our culture as a prison where we can't leave.. that's far from it, we are free to leave at any time.. what did you have to go through to leave your country?
Me: i know what westerners are afraid of above all...it's not terrorists, it not nuclear bombs, it's not cancer or AIDS..it's something else
Friend: what?
Me: it's being alone by themselves to face themselves
Me: hence they create all this "busy-ness" which they call "business" just NOT to be alone by themselves, because they have no idea how to handle themselves
Me: it can be scary, to focus on yourself WITHOUT any distraction at hand
Friend: i'm talking about barriers..what barriers did you have to come here?
Me: I am the person who choose to fall in love, forgot it?
Me: I am not one of these comfort-seekers who puts an ad on a match-making site and wait for some magical partner to stop by and knock on their door
Friend: you also chose to fall in love with a westerner
Me: yes
Me: which is even harder
Me: which meant i had to totally consider changing my ways..my familiar ways
Me: which i did
Me: since i know how to fall in love
Friend: why didn't you make him change his ways instead?
Me: he did too
Me: we both did
Me: he knows how to fall in love, too
Me: we both changed our ways to please eachother
Me: as much as we could
Me: and we are STILL doing this… most probably we will be doing this forever lol which is good
Me: I am sure I would have been a totally different person if I had not fallen in love with John… most probably I would have been a bit more selfish, less flexible, more austere, less emotional… with him, I'm sure if he had not fallen in love with me, he could have ended up a bit more selfish too, less of a dreamer, more confused, and of course, less smiling :)
[…]
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