I recently received an email from a friend, a member of Meetup.com for Farsi speakers, asking me a question about the situation his friend in NY is facing now: This guy has an on-line girlfriend in Iran whom he wants to eventually meet after 4 years, possibly to see if they would end up in love after meeting in person. He would like to convert to Islam to make things easier (well... concerning Iran's laws, the only way a non-muslim man can marry a muslim woman is for the man to convert to Islam), then he wants to travel to Kish Island (a "free zone") to meet his girl there.
I responded promptly, advising him not to do things the hard way. For those in a similar situation, my advice, concerning all the hardships John and I unnecessarily went through to figure out the best way to meet, is:
1. Meet in Turkey. Anywhere in Turkey would be perfect. My personal suggestion is Istanbul, since the city is beautiful and there are a lot of tourist spots to visit, too. Hostels are cheap, and some are as good as a hotel, so do not feel bad looking for a hostel instead of a hotel. We stayed at Marmara Guesthouse in Istanbul, the price was reasonable, and the staff so friendly, plus it was close to the famous Aya Sofia. Why I suggest Turkey? Simply because first, neither of you, American or Iranian, would need a visa to travel there. For Americans, though, to be more exact, "currently, holders of all types of passports can purchase a 90-day sticker visa at the port of entry for $20 cash if they are traveling to Turkey as tourists". So no visa paperwork anyway! You will just need to have your passport on you. There is a non-stop Turkish Airlines flight right from JFK, NY to Istanbul. The price is reasonable compared to other airlines, and this is the only non-stop flight connecting the USA to Turkey. There is a cheap reliable Iran Air flight from Tehran to Istnabul, too, which would be non-stop on certain days of the week. Both flights would end up in Ataturk Airport, which, for one thing, is much less confusing than both Mehr-Abad and JFK airports! You can simply meet your beloved by the conveyor belts :) The second reason why I suggest Turkey instead of Kish Island or anywhere else within the borders of Iran is that nowhere in Iran you and your beloved will be allowed to stay in a hotel or hostel or whatever as a couple. They are very strict about this, and they would ask you for evidence to show that either you are related to eachother as a parent/child, brother/sister, or as a spouse. Since it's not the case, you wouldn't be able to stay anywhere. Yet, there is a possibility that your beloved one's family would like to invite you to stay with them as a guest (which is rare, since most Iranian families are totally uncomfortable with the idea of a foreigner guy sleeping under the same roof with their daughter! If you are an American woman wanting to stay with an Iranian man, the case would be a bit different, though :)), or simply, your beloved might have an apartment somewhere (again, it's rare, since most unmarried people live with their parents in Iran), still my suggestion is: do not go through unnecessary paperwork for an Iranian visa! The only place within the borders of Iran an American can travel to without having a visa is Kish Island, but this should not lead you to think that you can be free there! In fact, I had the same assumption, till I practically called up several hotels for making reservations for John and I, and they all said that they were not allowed to let a man and a woman who were not related (as I explained) to stay in the same room together. Since the whole purpose of the trip is evaluating eachother as potential life partners, how can you decide if you do not have a chance to observe eachother in a natural environment, how you eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, wake up, what you will do when you get bored, etc.? If you just want to go to a cafe and have tea, the story will be totally different, though. You can travel to Kish Island, stay in separate rooms (even separate hotels), meet eachother somewhere outside, do not hold eachother's hands often, and definitely NEVER kiss in public (nor in private, since you are staying in different rooms/hotels anyway!)
I'd say no person in their right mind would want to spend all this time and money to travel somewhere, then act as a handicapped lover! So, consider both of you travelling to Turkey, where you can freely stay together anywhere you want, nobody would be nosy about what you're up to, you can hold eachother's hands and kiss and laugh in public, and above all, you can enjoy the many tourist spots and the multi-cultural atmosphere of the city of Istanbul, the border of East and West, in case you choose Istanbul. DO not forget about the Whirling Dervishes Dance! It will be unforgettable both for you and your beloved one.
2. About conversion to Islam, again, the easiest way to do this is to go to any local mosque in the US and just let them know that you would like to convert. Usually the Imam there would have the authority to issue a document for you, signed by couple of muslim brothers, that would show you have converted to Islam. You can get a certified translation of this copy anywhere in Iran, or simply, just send a copy of this document to Iran and ask your beloved one to get it formally translated for you. He/she would have to take the document to an authorized translation institute and they will give him/her a certified translation in less than a week. But again, I'd say, if you have the English document, that'll be enough. Going through getting it translated is absolutely redundant, since all you need to get married to a muslim person here in the US and then register this marriage in the Iranian section of interest in Pakistan embassy (Washington D. C.) would be the English document of your conversion. This way, your marraige would be legally recognized in Iran, and either of you can travel there with immunity.
3. The fastest/safest way to get your beloved one inside the US if you guys end up wanting to get married is filing for a K1 Visa, also known as Fiance(e) Visa. My friend Rene, and I have enough experience with that, since I am an Iranian married to an American, and she is an American married to an Iranian, so if you guys have any question concerning this, please feel free to ask us. Rene is even more experienced than me, and she helped me all through this long complicated process. Still, whenever I have a question concerning immigration/visa laws, she is the only person whom I can totally trust and feel comfortable with asking these questions from.
I hope this post can help the people in the same situation as John and I once were in: Americans and Iranians who want to marry the enemy! lol This is obviously a joke. Nothing can stop human-beings from falling in love and wanting to be together for a life time. Nothing not even politics.
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